


Breakaway

by berrywarbler



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-06-08
Packaged: 2017-11-06 21:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/423436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berrywarbler/pseuds/berrywarbler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adventure is just one mistake away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bonfire

**Author's Note:**

> This is an older fic crossposted from fanfiction.net; written pre-season 3.

"Hey," Rachel said with a drunken giggle as she sat down next to Blaine in the dirt. The Glee club senior members had planned a going away bonfire their last weekend all in Lima together, which soon turned into a camping trip, and Puck had inevitably brought in alcohol. Rachel hadn't drunk much since her party junior year, but in a matter of days Rachel, Kurt and Blaine were heading for NYC, the others scattered across towns in the midwest, and it was a terribly sad thought for her.

"Hey," Blaine replied distantly a moment later. Rachel looked at him, noticing how he was fiddling with the neck of his beer bottle.

"You okay?" She asked, but he just responded with a smile. She bit her lip before exclaiming "Blaine, cheer up!" loudly. She noticed Puck glancing at them as he wandered past to grab another log for the fire but didn't say anything to them, Rachel turning her attention back to Blaine after a small wave. 

"I'm just in a weird mood," Blaine finally responded. "You should be off having fun-after all, after Tuesday you won't see Finn until Thanksgiving."

Rachel shrugged her shoulders. "Nah. Tina and Mercedes are busy planning their adventures in St. Louis and Finn is probably in the process of getting back together with Quinn as we speak," she answered truthfully. Blaine raised an eyebrow, questioning her last statement non-verbally. "We broke up this afternoon," she finally admitted, grabbing the alcohol from Blaine's hand and taking a giant swig automatically. It was her defense mechanism for the night anytime someone asked about it.

"I'm surprised you're not more drunk," Blaine chortled. "Why did you break up now?"

"He says he doesn't want to hold me back. I say he's going to Ohio State with Quinn and just wants the freedom to hook up with her again. But it's all for the best I suppose. Onwards and upwards and all that," she rambled. Blaine was watching her as she talked; he had a tendency to actually appear like he was listening, including staring in her eyes. It was a tad disconcerting after dating Finn off and on for three years, where Rachel was fortunate if he managed to catch a third of what she said.

"Still."

"I'm just so ready to get out, start my real life. And Finn is right-I don't need anyone holding me back." Rachel continued, ignoring Blaine's smirk.

"I'm pretty sure nothing would stop you from being a star."

"Not even love?"

"Not even love."

-:-

"I just can't wait to be out of Lima, out of Ohio," Kurt complained, staring wistfully at the campfire. Rachel nodded in agreement while Santana snorted from her position on his other side, wrapping herself tighter in her hoodie.

"Well of course you, Berry and Anderson get your happily ever after," she snarled, throwing a rock into the fire.

"You're going to Chicago," Rachel pointed out. She had sobered up by now, the party hitting it's lull where half the participants were passed out or making out, various couples hidden away in the tents Puck, Mike and Finn spent all afternoon erecting.

"Yeah, by myself," she argued, glancing towards where Brittany was sitting in Artie's lap.

"Better by yourself than miserable in love," Kurt muttered, though Rachel was sure Santana wasn't listening. She had known that Kurt and Blaine were having problems- Blaine's transfer back in the fall had been wonderful for the couple at first, but when Blaine became reasonably accepted, nabbing solo's away from Finn or Puck in Glee, even spending time with what Kurt had apparently deemed _his_ friends, Rachel could see Kurt's resentment settle in. It had taken awhile for it to happen, but she didn't want anything to mess up their plans-after all, the three were moving to New York together, and she liked knowing that she'd have some friends with her in a large new city.

So she didn't call attention to his comment, instead deciding to wander off in an attempt to find a bottle of water. She had a couple hidden in what she had already called dibs on as "her" tent, having to pass by what was-from the sound of it-undoubtedly Finn and Quinn's tent.

She stumbled lightly over a rock and almost fell into her own tent, catching herself in enough time to notice that it was zipped up. _That's weird_ , she pondered momentarily, because she knew she had left it open. She decided someone must have closed it for her, or maybe someone was using it for their own uses-she didn't want to know-instead moving onwards to find a small clearing just past their tents.

It took her a minute to realize she had stumbled upon an argument, her thirst evaporated as she hid herself behind a tree and tried to eavesdrop.

"You're not the same person anymore Blaine," she heard Kurt hiss, her face falling in a frown immediately as she realized what exactly she had stumbled upon. 

"And that's a bad thing? It's called changing, growing up. Maybe it's something you should consider doing," Blaine shot back.

"I have grown up! Look at everything I've been through!"

"Going through hard times doesn't make you a grown up Kurt, it makes you human. We've all had rocky points and no one else is acting like the world owes them a huge favor," Rachel had to strain her ears, listening intently as Blaine's voice lowered.

"Really? Quinn? Rachel? You're telling me I'm acting worse than them." Kurt replied bitterly.

"Rachel is your friend, I don't see why you always need to attack her. And she doesn't act like the world has been harsh to her. She knows who she is, she's prepared to fight hard for what she wants." A smile crept on her face automatically at Blaine's words, but fell almost as quickly when he continued. "She could be wailing and moaning about how unfair it is that Finn is screwing Quinn in a tent 20 feet from her only hours after she broke up with him, but she's not."

"Because she's at a party with her friends," Kurt stated, but even Rachel could tell from her spot in the shadows that he knew he was losing his argument.

"Now, are we going to continue this fight and potentially risk everyone finding out and ruining their nights, or are we going to suck it up, put a smile on our damn faces, and deal with it later?" Rachel didn't hear Kurt's reply; distracted as Puck stumbled over to her, grabbing her by the hand and pulling her to him.

"You know," he told her, his mouth close to her ear as he slurred his words. She could smell the whiskey he had been drinking with Mike all night on his breath, but didn't comment. "You're going to be a star someday and I'm going to get to tell everyone that I totally tapped that fine ass."

She giggled despite herself, rolling her eyes at the same time. "We never had sex Noah," she reminded him, and he growled in response.

"Maybe we should fix that," he said, pushing her up against the tree she had just been eavesdropping behind. She laughed but didn't stop him when he started kissing her, figuring that making out with him for a few minutes couldn't possibly harm her night any.

-:-

By the time Rachel stumbled back to her tent, she was exhausted and the fire had almost completely dimmed down. Her kissing session with Noah had gone on for awhile before he started attempting to undo her shorts, ending abruptly when he ran off towards the clearing to throw up after she pushed him away. Her tent was still zipped up, but she decided she didn't particularly care, the exhaustion and hangover settling in as she climbed inside it anyways.

She stepped on the person in her sleeping bag before she saw them, a low groan of pain almost making her scream in fright. Once her heart beat stopped racing, she sat down to poke the mystery person. "Excuse me," she whispered, aware there were other people sleeping in tents around them. "Excuse me, you're in my tent."

"Just sleep," a voice answered, deep and covered with exhaustion.

"But you're in my sleeping bag," she informed them.

"Room," they responded, shuffling over to allow her room into her own sleeping bag. She hesitated for a moment-almost everyone in the group was dating someone else in the group, and if this was someone's boyfriend-she knew that it was a boy, even if she couldn't place what boy-she didn't want any drama her last couple days in Lima. But she was exhausted and slightly hung over and cuddling seemed like a much warmer idea than sleeping in the cold tent alone.

Sighing, she pushed him over a little more and climbed into the sleeping bag, snuggling tightly against them. One arm wrapped around her, dragging her even closer to him. It wasn't long before she felt her exhaustion win, her partners breathing lulling her into a comfortable sleep.


	2. All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye

Rachel was very, very warm. She could hear people starting to move around, tents unzipping and birds chirping. Her back was sore from sleeping on the ground and she briefly thought about how glad she was that she was moving to a big city.

That's when he moved and her eyes flashed open, wincing a bit as sunlight streamed through the tent. She was snuggled against his chest, his arms wrapped around her as he slept contently, and she had to force herself to look up and see exactly who she had spent the previous night sleeping with.

 _Oh shit_. Her heart seemed to both stop and beat three times as fast when she finally open her eyes and was immediately greeted with light stubble and an overflow of dark curls on the pillow next to her, Blaine's eyes still closed. If Kurt finds out-this is bad, she worried, biting her lip compulsively.

He moved a little, one of his arms leaving her waist as he laid on his back, mumbling incoherently in his sleep. Kurt had mentioned before what a heavy sleeper Blaine was, and how often Blaine liked to sleep. But she couldn't for the life of her figure out why Kurt would see this as a problem-Blaine looked, for lack of a better term-hot in his sleep.

She blushed as the thought crossed her mind, slowly sitting up so as to not wake him up. She gathered her hair at the base of her neck, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She had fortunately slept away most of her hangover, though she vaguely recalled making a very bad decision in kissing Noah the previous night.

The memory of being in the clearing reminded of her one other thing-Kurt and Blaine's fight. She wasn't sure what had come of it, but it couldn't have ended well if Blaine was asleep in her tent instead of Kurt's. She knew things were getting worse between the two as more time went on, but all she could really do was hope that they'd get their acts together and realize they were wonderful together and the three of them could live happily in New York.

She sighed heavily and unzipped the sleeping bag a little, shuffling around to grab a sweatshirt-she only realized it was Blaine's after it was already halfway on, but she knew it was cold outside and she wasn't too worried about Blaine being upset about it-accidentally kicking him in all her movements.

"Ow," she heard him mutter and she froze, leaning over him as she was trying to find pants in her backpack, because she was sure she hadn't brought just shorts to wear.

"Um," Rachel replied, intelligent as ever when he finally opened his eyes and looked up at her.

"You kicked me," he said simply.

"You fell asleep in my tent," she pointed out in retaliation. 

He shrugged noncommittally, yawning as he sat up and moved out of her way so she could grab her bag. "I didn't really feel like dealing with-" he started, then stopped when he seemed to realize what he was saying.

"Kurt?" she finished for him, and he made an uncomfortable nod.

"Yeah. Sorry I hogged your tent though," he told her genuinely, and she shrugged.

"It wasn't the most horrible thing in the world," she replied. "At least you didn't roll around all night or snore obnoxiously."

"Finn?" he asked simply, and she nodded.

"But that's Quinn's problem now," she added on as she tried to pull a pair of sweatpants on over her shorts, standing up and having to bend awkwardly over him.

"You're wearing my sweatshirt," he commented, fingers playing with the string that wound the hood tighter dangling in front of him, and she nodded, a faint blush crawling over her features.

"I hope that's okay, I just kind of grabbed something and threw it on," she told him quietly, and he just smiled up at her.

"I think I can handle that since I stole your sleeping bag," he joked. She laughed quietly, leaning down to grab a hair tie from her bag. The tent was only made for one person, really, and it wasn't very tall. Still, she was surprised when she fell over, crashing on Blaine as she lost balance.

He laughed and she winced slightly in pain, trying to apologize for landing on him. "It's fine," he told her, still laughing.

"I can't believe I fell," she muttered, embarrassed. She couldn't find it in herself to get off of him, however, staying where she had landed on his legs and she was sure her face was a bright red.

"Rachel?" she heard Kurt's voice from the other side of the tent flap, moments before his face peeked in as he unzipped it.

"Kurt!" she announced much louder than was necessary.

"Is there a reason you're sitting on my boyfriend?" Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, uh," she bit her lip anxiously. "I kind of fell."

"I meant more of why is he in your tent," Kurt voiced, but she could tell that he wasn't really asking her, his eyes focused on Blaine who had quieted down since Kurt's arrival.

She looked awkwardly between the two, Blaine's face seemed so much more strained and stressed compared to the carefree way he had looked just a moment ago. "I'll let you two talk," she said, though she was sure neither were listening. "I'll go help pack up or something." Kurt let her walk past before sliding into her spot, walking far away as fast as possible so she didn't have to hear what was sure to be another large fight.

-:-

It didn't take long for everyone to finish cleaning up. Soon cars were packed up, aspirin and water bottles being passed around as hangovers started to kick into high gear. Kurt and Blaine had exited Rachel's tent-and dismantled it for her-within a few minutes of her departure, though she was busy helping Tina and Brittany clean the general area free of beer cans and bottles, cups and general garbage to ask what had happened.

"I can't believe this is really almost over," Tina sniffled once they were done, everyone's things piled into the various cars in the area, and Mercedes let out a scoff from her position over by Kurt's Navigator.

"Oh no, we are not starting the water works," she declared.

"I'm sorry!" Tina cried out as tears started to fall more and more. "I can't help it, you guys have-have been like my family, and now we're-" she hiccupped, the tears definitely falling freely now, "-we're all going to different places to be different people and who knows when we'll all be together again."

Rachel started getting a little misty at her declaration, she had to agree with her.

"We'll like, totally see each other at Christmas. We can go sing Christmas carols somewhere!" Brittany decided, and Santana nodded besides her.

"I mean, most of us will have cars and travel and shit. We can all visit or something. God knows I'll need some distraction from the hell hole my apartment will be in Chicago," she stated, and Puck snorted.

"I'll come and distract you," he offered with a wink, ignoring her 'fuck off Puckerman'.

Finn and Quinn hovered awkwardly on the edge of the group, hand in hand, Finn shooting apologetic glances at Rachel. She smiled in response, glancing over at Kurt and Blaine. "I love you guys," she said to the group, and that seemed to break the tension of the unsaid 'goodbye' in the air, Mercedes and Kurt coming over to hug her, Brittany and Mike joining in soon afterwards. She heard Finn and Puck argue over who should join the hug first, but eventually Santana shut them both up as they joined what was quickly turning into more of a group huddle. Quinn rolled Artie into the midst so everyone could hug him too, her arms wrapping around Sam as she joined the group as well.

It was a mess of limbs, arms and elbows and knocking into others; Rachel was sure she was getting bruised by Quinn on purpose, tears were falling from all of the girls and even a couple of the guys. It was a sweet goodbye, much messier than the one they had allowed that last day of school-but then there was the promise of summer, of cook outs and gatherings. This, this was their final goodbye before they went off into the world and grew and changed.

This was their last chance at being together as naive high schoolers instead of reasonably matured college students.

"You know," Rachel told Blaine as the group started to dwindle down, people heading towards their cars wiping away their tears and shouting last goodbyes. "When I first joined Glee, I said that I wanted to be special. And that being a part of something special made you special. And I think our group was special."

He smiled as he opened the passenger side door for her-he was driving her home, Kurt's car full with Kurt, Mercedes, Finn, Puck and Quinn. "I'm pretty sure you were always special Berry," he told her, and she grinned sheepishly, watching him walk around the front of the car. "But I have to say, I may have only been a part of New Directions for a year, but I think you're right. It made us all special."

She hit him playfully as he started up the car, "Now you're mocking me."

"Me?" he said in fake shock. "I would never." He pulled out onto the path, and she looked back and waved to Santana, Brittany and Artie who were still in the clearing. She lost herself in her thoughts as they drove off, saying goodbye mentally to all the things she was going to miss when she moved to New York in just two short days.


	3. A New Beginning

Rachel's dads had met up with Burt a few weeks prior to the move-in date to coordinate plans. Since both Kurt and Rachel were headed to the same city, it only made sense to carpool together, Burt driving the kids and Rachel's dads driving a small U-Haul full of boxes and dorm accessories. They had to leave a day early to make sure they got there with enough time, stopping to spend the night somewhere in Pennsylvania. But as they pulled up to the dorm Kurt had been assigned to, they squeezed each other's hands in the backseat, smiles growing on their faces.

"We're here," Burt announced unnecessarily.

"We're in New York," Kurt breathed next to Rachel. She was too speechless to even make an acknowledgement, instead just nodding in response as she looked up at the building.

"I'll go with Kurt to check in, Rachel do you think you and your dads can start unloading the truck?" Burt asked as her dads pulled up behind Burt's car.

"Of course," she answered as they slid out, Kurt and Burt heading inside as Rachel took a glance around at her new city-her new home. The taxis were speeding past, people barely looking at Rachel as they walked on the streets, new students milling about as they tried to look like native New Yorkers. Rachel was prepared to look like a tourist, she had already decided it was part of the fun.

One of her dads handed her a box as Kurt came back out, his father following closely behind. "It's not too bad," Kurt shrugged. "Fourth floor, but there's an elevator and the line isn't too bad yet. The guy said since it's still early most people haven't gotten to the city yet-I'm one of the first to check in," Kurt smiled. Rachel grinned at him, passing off her box and grabbing another one.

"Well, let's see the room!" she said, and the pair took off, leaving the parents to carry more boxes on their own.

They spent the next hour up in Kurt's new dorm before Rachel announced that NYU would officially let her move in. Kurt chuckled and Burt offered to help move her in, but her dads informed him that her energy was more than enough to move a few boxes around and to enjoy his last moments with Kurt before they left for Ohio that afternoon.

The lady at the desk of her dorm was snippy, handing Rachel her key and giving her the room assignment in a sharp tone, directing her to the stairs down the hall. Rachel crinkled her nose, though she supposed it could be worse. She was only on the second floor, besides moving in she wouldn't really need the elevator.

Her dads brought up most of her boxes as she started to unpack them, the pale yellow color scheme Kurt had helped her pick out-after objecting rather loudly in the middle of Sheets-N-Things to the orange she had fallen in love with-looking nice in the bright sunlight from the startlingly large window. The room wasn't too large, but Rachel wasn't expecting much. The important thing was that she had her own space, and that she got to pick her side of the room first. Her roommate didn't arrive, and after her dad brought in her last box with a loud "Well, now that that's done, we should grab some lunch before we head back to Lima," she gave up unpacking for a while.

They managed to find a nice quiet restaurant that had something for everyone, her dads asking her about her plans, warning her to stick with Kurt and Blaine, offering advice from their hay-day in college. She listened, soaking up her last hour or so with them before Thanksgiving, surprisingly relieved when Burt's call came that he was on his way.

"We'll miss you so much," one of her dads said, hugging her tightly.

"We're so proud of you Bear," her other dad offered, joining the hug.

"Thanks," she blushed, hugging them back just as hard. A couple moments later Burt pulled up and they said their last goodbyes, getting in the U-Haul to drop it off in Jersey before commuting the rest of the way back with Burt.

She waved goodbye, smiling as she watched them turn a corner, the realization that she was on her own in New York City hitting her all at once and causing her to jump up and down, squealing in delight.

Rachel walked into her room, fully prepared to relax and spend the rest of the evening unpacking. Of course, she hadn't counted on walking into her room and finding her new roommate sitting on the floor amongst a pile of things.

"Sorry," the girl blurted as soon as Rachel walked into the room and noticing her eyes open wide as she took in the scene. "One of my boxes burst open and everything fell and I was trying to sort through it-of course it would be my desk stuff, so it's all papers and pins and pencils and stuff. I'm not normally messy, I promise, I was hoping you wouldn't come in before I finished cleaning up. Unless you're not Rachel, in which case, hi, I'm Sally and I'm trying to clean before my roommate comes in."

Rachel grinned, already weirdly fond of the chatty girl. She held out her hand and Sally shook it. "Rachel Berry, and it's all right, I was just startled." She headed over to her own boxes, taking out clothes and putting them in her dresser. "When did you get in?"

"Just a little while ago, I only live in Jersey so it doesn't take that long, but of course my mom was running late with the whole getting-in-the-car-and-driving thing." Rachel smiled, nodding as she located hangers to hang up her dresses in the closet. "Where are you from again?"

"Ohio. Lima, Ohio. It's a small town." Rachel explained.

"Oh, that's cool. How come you decided on NYU?"

"It has a great arts program, and I heard that the theater professors are supposedly really excellent. I was in a show choir in high school, and I plan on one day starring in a series of Broadway musicals. So NYU seemed like a logical step."

"Wow, that's awesome! I'm just here for film, though I feel that's like ninety percent of the student population here. But acting and singing, wow. You'll have to sing for me some time," Sally rambled, and Rachel laughed.

"Trust me, you'll hear me singing a lot. I can't stop myself most of the time," she shrugged, coming to the bottom of her box and finding Blaine's Dalton Academy sweatshirt. He was supposed to be moving in the next day, and Rachel felt a weird pang in her stomach. Soon enough it would be her and Blaine attending the same school-even if they were in completely different majors and classes. Some of them would overlap, sure, but not during the same semesters.

It took her a minute to realize Sally was still talking, and she shoved Blaine's sweatshirt in the back of a drawer, trying to figure out what she was telling Rachel. "…and I was like well, I'm only 2 hours away it's not like I'm moving to Mars to go to Pigfarts or something and he still decided that it was too far, but I read an article in a magazine that you never want to go to college with your high school boyfriend anyways. What about you? Did you leave a boyfriend back home?"

"Um, sort of," Rachel answered as she broke the box down, ready to take to the recycling chute whenever she went out in the hall next.

"Oh, is there a story?" Sally asked, finally finishing picking up her stuff from the floor and sitting on her bed, looking at Rachel with rapt attention.

"Not really a big one. I dated this guy off and on for a few years, but he decided to go back to the other girl he dated off and on since they were both headed to Ohio State, claiming he didn't want to hold me back from my dreams," Rachel explained as Sally snorted.

"What a lame excuse," she said, and Rachel nodded in agreement, fixing her sheets and surveying her side of the room. It was finally complete, and she sank down comfortably on the twin sized mattress.

"This bed is so small," Rachel muttered, and Sally made a hum of agreement from her side where she was dumping a box of books on her bed.

"Tell me about it."

-:-

Kurt arrived nice and early the next morning, bearing bagels and coffee. He barely registered the tiny blonde in the bed across the room as he sat down on Rachel's bed, waiting impatiently and starting on his breakfast as she finished throwing her hair up.

She snapped her fingers and he handed her a bagel which she took hungrily, grabbing her keys and phone and leaving a note for Sally that she was out with Kurt; they had spent the better part of the previous evening discussing their high school lives, Kurt and Blaine being mentioned several times- before she locked the door quietly behind them as they headed outside. "Where are we going?" she asked Kurt as she tore off another piece of bagel.

"Well, Blaine got in about 10 minutes ago, so we're going to go meet him in his dorm." Rachel nodded, biting her lip nervously as they walked down the block to Blaine's building. She was sure his parents wouldn't mind her being there-they loved her, even after their few brief meetings-though she was also as sure that they didn't much like Kurt. They were polite to him, but Blaine's father still wasn't 100% on board with the whole Blaine being gay thing, which meant he was rooting for Blaine to discover some sort of secret attraction to Rachel. Some nights, Rachel couldn't help but root for that herself.

Shaking her head clear they headed up, the doors open as people were still moving in. "Did you get what room he's in?" she asked, and Kurt took out his cell phone.

"Room 712. Looks like we better take the elevator," Kurt sighed, glancing at the line. Rachel rolled her eyes and grabbed Kurt's hand.

"I think we can handle the stairs this one day," she told him, and he grimaced.

"It's like twelve thousand degrees and I'm wearing skinny jeans Rachel," he complained, but she continued to drag him towards the stairwell.

"Maybe you should have thought about that before getting dressed this morning Kurt," she replied. They climbed the stairs, Kurt whining ever few feet in defiance, but Rachel ignored him. Finally they reached the seventh floor and walked through it, checking door numbers as they avoided families and boxes and tried to block out the loud bass already thumping from someone's room.

"Aha!" Kurt announced when they reached it-the names Blaine Anderson and Seth Diltz written on a dry erase board next to the door. Rachel knocked and a voice that was definitely not Blaine's called for them to come in.

"Hey!" Blaine cried, coming over to hug the both of them.

"This your girlfriend?" the other boy-presumably Seth-asked as he eyed Rachel. She crossed her arms uncomfortably, waiting for Blaine to explain.

"Um," Blaine stuttered out, leaving Kurt to sigh loudly.

"No, that's not his girlfriend," Kurt offered in the silence. Seth looked between Blaine and Kurt, shrugging before turning his attention back to Rachel.

"That's good," he said with a lecherous grin, and Rachel decided she wanted to spend as little time in that dorm room as possible. Blaine seemed to sense her distress and came to the rescue.

"My parents just left but I haven't eaten, can we go get food?" he asked the two of them, and they nodded vigorously. "I'll uh, see you," Blaine waved awkwardly goodbye to his roommate who Rachel was really trying to pretend was not staring at her ass.

"So, that's your roommate," Kurt commented as they headed for the fresh air outside.

"Yeah, he's a little-"

"Creepy?" Rachel offered helpfully, and Blaine grimaced.

"Sorry about that," he told her, and she shrugged.

"She'll just have to get used to it now, this isn't Ohio anymore," Kurt said as they dipped inside a coffee shop to get Blaine some food. "Guys are bound to find her a lot more tolerable and a lot more attractive now that we're in a bigger city."

"I don't want a new guy," Rachel said.

"You're not pining for Finn are you?" Blaine asked, and she shook her head.

"No, I'm focusing on me. I can't let boys bring me down and distract me from my goal."

"I give it a week," Kurt said, and Rachel pushed him playfully.

"Come on, have more faith in her than that."

"Two weeks?" Kurt asked, and this time Rachel just glared at him while Blaine placed his order.

"I think she could do it if she really wanted to," Blaine said seriously, his eyes locked with hers. It took her a minute to remember what they were talking about, she hated it when he looked straight at her. Her thoughts all seemed to disappear.

"Three weeks," Kurt conceded. "Tops."

"Well, Kurt Hummel, I will prove you wrong," she declared. "I will stay away from boys all semester and then you will have no room to be all judgey."

"Is that possible?" Blaine asked, causing Kurt to scoff.

"I am not judgey."

"I'm sorry Kurt, but you are." Rachel heard the edge in both their voices, the one that she had been hoping would go away once they were away from Ohio. The one that suggested their playful argument was based on something deeper, something much more hurtful.

"Only if there's something to be judgmental about," Kurt replied.

"Which, to you, is just about everything."

"Not everything," Kurt snapped now, and Rachel felt trapped as they started to argue, not knowing what to do. She tried to stop their argument, but it was like she wasn't even there.

Finally she spotted salvation, exiting with a quick goodbye that she wasn't entirely sure either of them heard before jogging over to where Sally was walking across Washington Square. "Sally!" she called out, and the other girl stopped and waited for Rachel.

"How was breakfast with Kurt and Blaine?" she asked when Rachel had caught up.

"A nightmare," Rachel sighed in frustration.

"What happened?" Sally questioned, and Rachel grimaced, linking arms with the blonde as they headed towards the campus bookstore, glad to have found a friend who would just listen to the drama instead of being a part of it.


	4. Quicksand

Rachel wasn't sure she had ever hated a person more than she hated her Introduction to Musical Theater professor. 'Hate' wasn't even a strong enough word for the way she felt. "Loathe, despise, potentially the person I would risk going to jail for murdering," she ranted one night as Sally listened sympathetically.

"He can't be that bad," she interjected, but Rachel shook her head adamantly.

"I can handle constructive criticism. If my pitch was a little high, fine, tell me. If maybe I sang a key off, fine, tell me. But don't walk around the miniscule stage and tell me that I'm so atrocious you're surprised I even made it to a National competition and won when you're bitter that you couldn't make it on Broadway," she steamed, copying down important notes from her math class. It was one of her only pre-requisite class she was taking that semester, and the only class she had somehow ended up in with Blaine.

"Well, you didn't say that to him, right?" Sally asked, aware by now-they had been in classes for three weeks, living in the tiny dorm room together for a month-that Rachel was prone to saying whatever popped in her mind when she was being insulted.

Rachel gave a heavy sigh, shaking her head. "It took all my might, and I glared profusely, but I didn't say anything back. I need this class, and he's the only professor for it. So I'll have to suck it up and deal with it I guess. Besides, it's only until December. And then I don't ever have to see him again in my life."

"See who again?" Blaine asked as he walked into the room, not bothering to knock. He had taken to spending his free time in Rachel's room, saying he preferred the girls floor to his dorm since it smelled better. Rachel didn't blame him, she tried to avoid his room if she could; though it was more because of his creepy roommate than anything.

"Her professor for that theater class," Sally answered, and Blaine nodded in response.

"He still being a dick?" Blaine questioned, and Rachel sighed in disgust again, erasing an equation she copied down wrong.

"Of course he is, apparently I'm not talented enough for his teeny tiny stage," she complained.

"Well then he clearly doesn't know talent if it hit him in the face," Blaine replied with a shrug. She smiled a bit at that, and Sally watched the two from her spot on her bed.

"Don't give her any ideas, the last thing I need is a roommate transfer because Rachel got expelled for slapping her professor," she warned, though her face didn't quite match her words. Rachel was used to the look these days though, had been used to it after that first week when Sally tagged along with them for lunch one day. She had come up with some crazy idea that Rachel had feelings for Blaine, but Rachel was adamant that her time spent with Blaine was purely platonic.

In truth, Rachel had discovered that spending so much time with Blaine had brought up her old feelings. Except in high school, it had been a tiny crush-more the alcohol and the possibility of a way to move on from Finn than Blaine himself. But they had both done a tremendous amount of growing up and changing, and whether he was cheating off her math test or buying her coffee (to make up for the cheating on his test) she found that she was a lot more fond of him than she should be. Especially considering that he was still Kurt's boyfriend. Barely, but still.

"How come you're not with Kurt?" Rachel asked now, closing her math book and glad for an excuse to procrastinate that part of her work even more.

"He has some test tomorrow, can't be bothered to meet up for another couple days," Blaine replied blandly, laying back on Rachel's bed and tossing one of her pillows in the air and catching it.

"That sucks," Rachel replied, climbing on the bed next to Blaine. He shifted so his head was on her leg, still throwing her pillow.

"I'm getting pretty used to it at this point," he responded. "Besides, I still have you," he added with a grin as she rolled her eyes, absentmindedly playing with his curls as she grabbed the book she was supposed to be reading for her literature class.

"Yes, but I also have homework. Isn't that something that you have?"

"Nah, I did it already."

"Bragger," Sally commented from the other side of the room where she sat, geography book in lap.

"I went to a private school where the curriculum was pretty intense. I learned how to handle my work load, my social life, and the Warbler's pretty quickly," he said, shrugging.

"Did you even have a social life outside of the Warblers before Kurt came along?" Rachel asked, trying to focus on her book.

"Ouch, that stings Rachel Berry," Blaine teased, poking her in the side. She giggled and shifted away from him, causing his head to fall onto the bed.

"That's what you get for distracting my homework," she sang as he cursed loudly.

"Come on, I'm bored," he whined. Rachel bit her lip, she would have loved nothing more than to skip off work for the night and spend time with Blaine, but she knew it would be a bad idea.

"How about a compromise," she offered, and he perked up. "Pick out a movie and we can head to the lounge and watch it while I finish my math work."

"Better than nothing," he grinned, heading to their DVD tower the roommates shared. She placed a bookmark in her place and grabbed her math stuff once more, shuffling off to watch whatever movie Blaine had deemed appropriate.

-:-

"You're not doing math homework," Blaine commented almost two hours later as Rachel curled up into a ball, practically rocking herself back and forth.

"Shut up," she replied wittily. She hadn't paid attention when Blaine said he had the perfect movie, letting him set it up as she worked on the next set of problems. But then it registered what movie he had put in, and all pretense of homework was completely shot.

"Are you going to cry?" Blaine asked quietly, his voice near her ear.

"You're the one who picked this movie out! How can you not cry when Jack dies? Or when the ship sinks?" she accused, aware her voice was on the edge of tears already.

"I haven't seen it in years," he shrugged, turning his attention back to the screen where Rose was now swinging an axe, practicing before trying to get Jack out of his handcuffs. "I thought I could re-watch it while you finished your math." She turned her head sideways, effectively burrowing into his side as Kate swung the axe actually towards Jack. She knew she aimed perfectly, but Rachel could never bring herself to watch it. Blaine chuckled next to her, an arm wrapped around her protectively.

"I hate you for picking this movie," she told him from her spot under his arm.

"You love me," he teased. She bit back the grin that formed on her face, focusing on the movie instead.

"Of course I do," she replied distantly, letting herself fall back into the movie. "Of course I do."

-:-

The thing Rachel loved most about living in New York City was that she was free to go anywhere anytime she wanted. She realized that was one of the perks of college in general, but in New York the options were so much broader. Which is why when Blaine suggested that they go to a diner at 3 in the morning (after forcing her to sit through The Notebook, as if Titanic wasn't bad enough) she couldn't exactly come up with a reason not to.

"You can finish your homework," he pointed out when he could see her internal conflict.

"You won't leave me alone unless I go, will you?" she asked, and he shook his head. "Fine, but you're carrying my backpack. And buying me food."

"Deal," he agreed, grabbing her bag after she went to grab it from her room-Sally was sleeping and she didn't want to wake her.

"You better be glad I don't have an early class," she muttered, but he didn't seem fazed in the least as he practically hopped down the steps, his arm extended so she'd take his hand.

"This way m'lady," he bowed deeply, and she let out a low laugh, yawning slightly as they headed down the street. It was quiet, a rarity around the dorms and in New York in general. They didn't run into anyone on their quiet walk, enjoying the fall air as he directed them towards the diner they had found the first week. Kurt hated it, convinced everything was covered in a thick coating of grease. Rachel, for her part, liked it because it offered a small vegan section.

"So," Blaine said after they had ordered their food again and Rachel had opened her math book once more.

"You're not going to let me do my homework, are you?" she asked warily.

"You can copy mine in class before we turn it in," he answered breezily.

"Fine," she grumbled, putting her stuff away. Exhaustion was starting to settle in and she was glad she had a late class the next day and could actually sleep in a little.

"So," Blaine repeated, and this time Rachel didn't interrupt him, instead waiting for him to talk. "Can I tell you a secret?"

She hesitated. She was notorious for spilling secrets in high school, but she did have the ability to keep her mouth shut. "It depends," she decided upon finally, and he nodded.

"Okay, except this is a big secret. Like, you can't even say anything to Sally big." She bit her lip, trying to outweigh the pro's and con's quickly in her head.

"Does this mean I can't tell Kurt either?" she asked, and Blaine nodded fiercely.

"It's just-I need to talk to someone about this, and you're the only one I think I can," he admitted, and she felt herself waning.

"Okay, tell me," she finally caved completely.

"I think I might have to break up with Kurt," he confided, and she nodded grimly.

"I was afraid of that," she whispered, and before he could question her further their food arrived.

"It's just," he said a couple minutes later, his burger already half gone. "I love Kurt, in an _I loved you_ kind of way. But we're out of high school and so much has changed, and we haven't even really gotten along in months." Rachel listened, trying to be impartial. It wasn't that easy, and she should be defending Kurt, trying to help him see the good in the relationship. But there was a small part of her that wanted to scream end it, end it at him and just claim him as her own.

"You guys have been fighting a lot lately, but you could work through it if you tried, if you wanted to," she finally compromised.

"But that's the thing, I don't think I want to fix it. I think maybe it's been over for a while, but neither of us have wanted to end it. I mean, we were each other's first boyfriends. I was his first real kiss, each other's first…" he trailed off, and Rachel rolled her eyes.

"We're in college, I think I can handle hearing that you guys were having sex," she whispered across the table, and he laughed.

"Yeah, well, that," he said and she rolled her eyes, eating quietly as he went back to ranting. "It's hard to let go of that first love. I mean, look how often you and Finn danced around, even when you were clearly done."

"You sound pretty sure about this," she said, and he nodded.

"I am. I just have to get around to the actual getting the courage to doing it part now," he stated, pushing his plate of food away and yawning. "Christ, now I'm exhausted." She nodded in response, rubbing one of her eyes and fighting another yawn herself.

"I am certainly ready for bed," she agreed as they stood up, Blaine throwing cash on the table for their server and waving goodbye to her as they walked out the door, Rachel's backpack thrown over one of his shoulder. He wrapped his other arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to him as they walked back to the dorms.

"I'll just walk you back to your dorm that way you're safe," he told her as they passed his dorm. She nodded, practically sleep walking now as they continued down the block to her own. He opened the door and ushered her inside, heading for the elevator instead of the stairs. "It's almost 4 in the morning," he responded to her glance, "I'm sure no one will care."

She didn't bother answering him, exhaustion sweeping through her at an increasingly rapid pace now. She managed to communicate enough to tell him where her keys were so he could unlock her door, placing her backpack down at her desk. He leaned over close to her, whispering "I'm gonna go, I'll see you tomorrow," in her ear before she shook her head in disagreement.

"Stay," she replied monosyllabically, pulling him down on the bed next to her. "Sleep."

He chuckled lightly, though he didn't fight off her request. "Night Rachel," he whispered, and she barely nodded in response, already half asleep.


	5. Take Me On The Floor

Her dorm room was empty when she woke up the next morning, groaning as she turned her alarm off. She knew Sally had early morning classes, and she probably wouldn't have even remembered Blaine sleeping over at all if it hadn't been for the fact that she became ridiculously thirsty around 7:30 in the morning.

It was probably best that he was gone when she awoke as their conversation replayed in her head. "I should tell Kurt," she muttered, but decided, ultimately, that it wasn't her job to tell Kurt that his boyfriend was unhappy with him. Maybe if Kurt spent a little more time with him, he could figure it out himself.

She checked her phone to see if Blaine had said anything to her, but all she had was a question mark from Sally. She grimaced, ignoring what was undoubtedly another ridiculous accusation, and got ready for class.

Only two classes for the day, and she would be free to enjoy her weekend.

-:-

"Berry!" her professor barked, and she sighed in defeat. She was getting sick of being singled out in such a harsh way, tired of hearing his remarks.

"Yes?" she asked tightly, staying where she was on the middle of the platform they used as their stage. Her classmates tittered from their seats-he rarely picked on any of them as much as he picked on Rachel. Part of it was surely because she had been so quick to volunteer the first week of classes, but she had long since given up offering her services when they ran through songs or skits. Now she was called upon, and she spent most of her time in the class regretting her confident attitude that led her to volunteer for any demonstration.

"What was that garbage? I've seen better acting come from hobo's on the street corner. Is that how you want to end up? Living on the streets? Because if you don't improve, that's what'll happen. If you don't work harder, you're never going to make it to off Broadway, much less Broadway itself. Get off my stage, Elise, you're up!" he yelled, and she staggered off into her seat, seething. Texting was banned in his class, but she was so frustrated she didn't care. _Need a night out, pls?_ she sent off to Sally, watching as he shouted encouragement to the redhead currently on stage, giving her tips as she went through the scene. It only disgusted Rachel more, she was much better than the girl currently on stage and she knew it.

 _Ditto. Got just the place, club down on 7th. We'll dance the night away!_ Rachel grinned as Sally's reply popped up on her screen, shooting off a _perfect_ in response. The rest of her class didn't seem nearly as long when she was planning outfits in her head, and soon enough she was headed for her last class of the week, debating between a skirt or a dress in her mind.

"Earth to Rachel!" Blaine's voice broke through her thought bubble as he slid into the desk next to her-it was one of the few classrooms that had legitimate desks, the room smaller than her lecture halls she was so used to. 

"Hi!" she replied, grinning at him.

"You're in a good mood," he commented, handing her his homework so she could copy it quickly. "Normally you're all disgruntled and tired of the human population when you come in here. Was your professor finally a decent human being?"

"No," she snorted as she started writing down all of his answers, hoping they were correct. "I just told Sally what a dick he was, actually. We decided we're having a girl's night out and going dancing."

"Sounds fun," Blaine said with a mischievous grin. "You should let me come along."

"You're not a girl," Rachel pointed out but Blaine just shrugged.

"No, I'm a boy with a boyfriend. It's even better."

"Are you going to invite Kurt?" She asked with a raised eyebrow, ignoring how Blaine didn't just say the much easier version of _I'm gay_. She didn't want to get her hopes up by reading too much into it.

He hesitated, "I could, I mean, if you're officially inviting me."

"You can come if you bring Kurt with," Rachel said decisively. She wasn't sure why she wanted Kurt there, she just felt less guilty if she at least forced Blaine to invite him even if he was planning on breaking up with him. She saw him take out his phone, undoubtedly to text Kurt, and went back to focusing on the homework.

The class was easy and flew by, Rachel turning in both her and Blaine's homework for them but neither of them heard back from Kurt. Sally had agreed to let Blaine come along, with the addition of a _we need to talk asap when you get done with classes today_ attached to her text. She grimaced but was prepared for Sally's newest accusations, tucking away the thought that if she was really just friends with Blaine she wouldn't need all these excuses and preparations.

"Has Kurt responded?" she asked as they headed towards his dorm, and he shook his head.

"No, but he might be in the middle of that test," Blaine replied, and she nodded.

"Well, I'm going to go get ready with Sally. She says to meet us up in our room at 10, and to dress sharp," Rachel told him.

He grinned. "I will be my dapper self," he responded, and she rolled her eyes as he waved and disappeared into his dorm.

"And I will be my confident, not in love with my best friends boyfriend self," she told herself.

-:-

"So, now Blaine is spending the night here?" Sally asked before Rachel even put her bag down.

"It was late, he walked me back to make sure I was safe, I wasn't about to let him walk back to his dorm at 4 in the morning," Rachel answered. "The more important question is, should I be wearing a dress or a skirt?"

"What's going on with you and Blaine?" Sally demanded, taking no notice of Rachel's apparent crisis.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked, trying to play dumb.

"I mean, the touching and flirting and constant being around each other. I bet if you asked him who he spends more time with-you or his boyfriend-he'd say you." Rachel laughed uncomfortably, pulling out a yellow dress from her closet and examining it.

"That's only because we go to the same school. We have a class together and live down the street from one another. Kurt is on the opposite side of town, and Manhattan isn't exactly a small island. Well, it is, but it doesn't seem like it." Rachel explained.

"Or maybe you two are just in love with each other," Sally mocked from her bed, causing Rachel to drop the heels she was debating on.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rachel stumbled out, hoping her words sounded better to Sally.

"Why are you lying about this? I mean, we all know it. You know it, Blaine knows it, I'm pretty sure even Kurt knows it even though I've seen him like three times."

Rachel bit her lip. She had a lot of reasons for lying about it, but none that she wanted to admit out loud. Saying them out loud would make them real, and she was trying so hard to make sure they weren't real. "Blaine and I are just friends," she finally said, and Sally just sighed in frustration. "Now, tell me-yellow or red dress?"

-:-

Rachel felt ridiculously overdressed for just a normal club, but once Sally had attacked her closet and found the black dress, she wouldn't shut up until Rachel put it on. "Every girl's night needs at least one little black dress," she confirmed as she threw a pair of black heels at Rachel.

"And you can't wear one?" she asked, sliding the heels on and checking her reflection in the mirror. She had to admit, she did look great-her hair curled perfectly and thrown up in a big ponytail so it wouldn't get sweaty and gross from dancing, her lips painted a dark red and her eyes popping with some eye liner Sally had insisted she try. Sally, for her part, looked good too. She was now standing next to Rachel, checking out her reflection.

"I'm going for more of the party girl image," Sally responded, grinning in her hot pink mini dress and silver heels. "You have more of a sultry temptress look." Rachel rolled her eyes, fixing a stray curl as the door opened.

"Wow," was all Blaine said as he walked in, practically speechless as he gawked over the two girls.

"I think I did my job well when a gay guy can't even say anything more," Sally grinned, picking up her clutch.

"Where's Kurt?" Rachel asked, taking in Blaine's attire mentally as he stared at her.

"Oh, um, couldn't come. Said he had to spend all weekend working on some project or other." She nodded in response, barely able to speak. _Seriously, it's just a tan suit_ , she reprimanded herself.

"Ready to go?" Sally interrupted the silence, and Blaine grinned, holding out his hand.

"After you ladies," he ushered, and the two smirked as they all exited the dorm.

-:-

Rachel was surprised at the place Sally had chosen. She was a little weary that maybe they were too dressed up, but for what was clearly a club atmosphere, everyone was dressed in their best and fanciest clothes. Blaine didn't look remotely out of place amongst the twenty something investment bankers stopping by after a long week of work, and Rachel and Sally fit in with all the journalists and publicists who were there to let their hair down.

The only problem was the giant 'x's now marking all three of their hands, labeling them as the clearly under-21 crowd.

"This is going to make it harder to drink," Rachel pointed out, but Sally shook her head, as well as her hips, as she led the way to the bar.

"We'll make a game out of it. See which of the three of us can get the most drinks."

"This sounds like a horrible game for my self-esteem," Rachel muttered low enough so the other two couldn't hear her, not that it mattered because Blaine was speaking over her anyways.

"I'm definitely going to lose," he announced, but Sally scoffed.

"Please, this is New York. There's probably plenty of gay guys in here. Anyways, you don't look stereotypically gay, so maybe some of these older women will want to scoop you up," she winked. Blaine chortled, his hand on Rachel's back as he led her through the crowd.

"Well then, game on." The three grinned and separated, each heading to an opposing side of the bar. Lady Gaga was blasting from speakers as Rachel pushed her way to the front of the line, planning on just grabbing a water and heading to the dance floor-she didn't really want to drink, and in a place as large as this she wasn't sure if it seemed like a smart idea in the first place. She spotted Blaine, sure enough flirting up a twenty something girl who looked like she was falling out of her shirt. Blaine, for his part, didn't seem to notice.

"Hello," a deep voice said behind her. She swirled around and came face to face with a moderately attractive guy, and she took quick notice to see that he didn't have a giant 'x' on his hand. She smiled sweetly and replied with a small 'hi'. "Can't possibly be planning on getting alcohol, now can you?" he grinned at her, and she shrugged.

"I didn't think to come in with a fake," she answered and he chuckled.

"Well, a hot little thing like you doesn't really need one when there are suckers like me all over the place," he told her, hailing the bartender over and ordering two drinks. She took hers and thanked him with a kiss on the cheek, heading towards the dance floor, drink in hand. She caught Sally's eye as she flirted with a tall guy in a suit, a drink in her hand as well. She walked towards the edge of the dance floor, finishing her drink and waiting for a good song to come on before she entered the group of sweaty people.

It was only a couple minutes after she had finished her first drink that a waiter brought her another, pointing out someone at the bar and saying it was from them. She raised her bottle in the air, cheering the person from her spot, before downing that one too. Her intentions had never been to get drunk, but she wasn't going to stop herself from getting to that point either.

She placed the empty bottle on a table nearby as Sally shuffled over to her, another drink for her in hand. "Got someone to buy me two," she yelled over the music-it was much louder where they were. "Wanna dance?" she asked, and Rachel nodded vigorously

"Oh dear god yes," she answered, and Sally took her free hand, wiggling her hips once more as they pushed their way to the middle of the floor. She glanced around for Blaine, locating him at the bar, his eyes on the two of them. She waved before completely disappearing into the crowd, taking a sip of her third drink for the evening and letting Sally pull her in, swaying to the Britney song that was now blaring.

Rachel let herself focus on the music, letting the stress from her classes, the worries about her future and her life and her love life leaving as Sally and her danced together, taking sips from her drink every once in awhile. She was starting to really feel a buzz as she did a spin, hearing Sally's laughter around over the music, singing along obnoxiously loud.

Guys would come over and dance with the pair of them, a few even bringing drinks as they tried to grind with the two of them. Rachel allowed it, and before she knew it she was verging from tipsy to drunk. She wasn't even sure how she had gotten there; having stopped paying attention to what she was drinking long ago.

She wasn't even sure when Blaine had found her in the middle of the dance floor, her hair down and her skin practically on fire from the exercise. All she really knew was that at one point, she was dancing with a few guys, and the next time she noticed it was Blaine holding onto her hips as she moved them to the beat of the music pounding around them.

"Blaine," she said in surprise, and he chuckled near her ear, his breath smelling of alcohol as it tickled her skin. She let herself relax into him, grinding her hips a little more against his, and he made a low growl near her ear. She laughed loudly as his grip on her waist tightened, letting her head rest on his shoulder behind her. She felt his lips graze the skin on her neck, closing her eyes as he nipped gently. Her normal worries of the fact that Blaine was dating Kurt, or even that if he did this enough she'd end up with a hickey, were far from her mind.

She hummed quietly, low in her throat, as he traced kisses along her collarbone. At this point they were barely moving to the music, her arms reaching behind her to hold him closer to her as his traced her sides. "Rachel," he murmured into her skin, tickling her a bit with his 5 'o clock shadow. He had taken to not shaving as often these days, a look she wasn't 100% sure about until right this very moment.

She spun herself around, shushing him effectively. "No more talking," she said, leaning forward to kiss him.

It was like she stopped breathing, like they weren't in the middle of a club on a Friday night. The pounding Katy Perry song wasn't playing anymore, there weren't people pushing in on all sides of them. All she really noticed was Blaine's lips, the way his tongue was gently prying into her mouth. The way his hands went from her hair, grabbing it and pulling her closer, to her waist. That was all that mattered at the moment. She knew, in the back of her mind, that the kiss wasn't nearly as fantastic as it felt-it was sloppy and drunken but it was with Blaine and for that reason alone, nothing else mattered.


	6. Pieces

_This is the worst hangover in the history of the world_ , Rachel thought as she picked herself off the bathroom floor, heading towards a sink so she could brush her teeth. Her reflection made her cringe-her lipstick was smeared, her hair mussed, glitter everywhere, a giant hickey on her neck. She groaned inwardly and began brushing her teeth, trying to remember exactly what had happened the previous night. She had never drunken so much she blacked out before, and it wasn't a pleasant experience.

"Well, let's just hope I didn't do anything stupid," she muttered.

-:-

"Have you moved at all today?" Sally asked when she came in, stepping over Rachel and depositing her bag on the bed.

"I'm worried about the fact that I was not only on the floor whenever you left, but that you left me here," Rachel answered, covering her eyes with a pillow once more.

"Well, I tried separating you two because I did not want to be in the room if you started fucking, but I didn't really have anywhere else to go. But then when I woke up you were both on the floor, and I was running late to meet up with my world cultures group."

"What do you mean 'you both'?" Rachel asked, trying to rack her brain for a potential guy that stuck out.

"Oh my god, you don't remember?" Sally asked incredulously, laughing uncontrollably from the bed. Rachel frowned from her spot on the ground; she had a bad feeling about whatever Sally wasn't telling her.

"What should I be remembering? Who did I come home with?" Rachel asked her voice a bit tighter now.

"Oh no, this is golden, I'm going to let you figure it out for yourself." Rachel had half a mind to take her pillow and attack her with it, but that required moving-something Rachel still didn't feel like doing yet.

"Please just tell me," she whined instead, hoping it would become annoying enough for Sally to tell her. Sally just chuckled, holding strong. "Was he cute?" Rachel finally asked hopefully.

"Definitely," Sally replied.

"Well, at least I didn't settle for someone unattractive," Rachel said quietly. "How old was he?" she asked a couple minutes later, sitting up now to question Sally on her mysterious boy. Sally just smirked and kept quiet as she refused to answer her. "Sally, come on," Rachel whined once more.

"Maybe you should check your phone," Sally said. "I'm pretty sure you guys decided it was a smart idea to record your kiss for prosperity-though I assure you, I warned that it was a horrible idea." Rachel grimaced but reached onto her bed where her phone lay silently, going to the pictures.

Her stomach dropped about 17 feet as she flipped through them, watching the kisses get progressively sloppier.

"I think there's a video too," Sally said. "You guys put your phone on the chair and told me not to kick it because you were going to record it for the future when you're both famous."

Rachel bit her lip, going to the videos. Sure enough, the first one had a small screenshot of her and Blaine, clearly drunk. She opened it and played it, their laughter sounding from the small screen.

"No, Blaine, stop for a second!" Rachel laughed, pushing Blaine away. "Stop, we have to say what's going on for the video!"

Blaine scoffed, kissing her neck some more-that explained the hickey-"I don't think anyone needs an explanation if we give them a demonstration."

There wasn't too much more dialogue after that, Rachel seemed to have given in quite easily as they kissed some more. The video stopped after a couple minutes, and she sat in silence, trying to process exactly what had happened.

 _You made out with Blaine_ , she told herself. _You made out with one of your best gay friends who is dating your other best gay friend because you're in love with him and you're stupid enough to act on it when drunk._

-:-

Rachel was trying to avoid Blaine, but Blaine didn't seem to want to offer her the same courtesy. She had managed to spend all day in her room, declining Sally's offer to go see a movie with her and a couple girls from one of her classes.

"Today sucks," he declared, walking in without knocking as usual and collapsing on her bed. She was at her desk, trying to pull her attention in enough to write a paper but so far she hadn't been successful.

"Why?" she asked, trying to look engrossed on the efforts of some ancient war she knew nothing about.

"Well, I have probably the worst hangover known to man-I don't even want to know how you're doing homework right now, I woke up on the floor so my back is killing me," Rachel tensed, waiting for him to mention her, "and then Kurt is all _we need to talk!_ so I had to go across town just for us to end up breaking up."

She spun around in her chair, facing Blaine in shock. "You guys what?"

"Yeah," he said, his mouth going into a short line. "I hope it's okay that I came here to vent, I know you and Kurt are close-and he'll probably be pissed that I chose you to come to-but, really you're like my best friend here. I didn't really know what else to do." Rachel nodded, crossing the room to give him a hug. Any awkwardness she felt evaporated as she took him in her arms, his own wrapping around her and dragging her down to the bed so they'd be in a less awkward position.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, and he shrugged as they broke apart. She scooched backwards until her back was against the wall, patting her legs so he would put his head on them. He complied immediately, his legs dangling off the edge of her bed as she began rubbing his head, pulling gently on the curls that were completely wild from the late seasons humidity. "What happened?" she asked.

"Well, it's really been coming for awhile now," he chuckled. "God, I can't even remember the last time we were really happy together. It feels like it's been years, though I suppose it's only been a couple months."

"Still," Rachel said in a soothing voice. "That's a long time."

"It is," Blaine agreed. "I thought maybe us moving to New York would fix things-we wouldn't be spending as much time together since we'd be going to different schools again. But it seems like it only made it worse. He doesn't like that I spend so much time with you and Sally, but every time I ask him if he wants to meet up he snaps at me, saying he's busy and has a shit ton of work to do for class."

"Did you tell him that?"

"Of course I did. Then he denied it, at the same time using the defense of a career in fashion is high paced, I don't have a lot of free time. God, we ended up screaming at each other like crazy people-his roommate walked in on us and left quicker than that time he walked in on us fucking. And it just felt like everything got dredged up, fights from last year, from when I first transferred to McKinley, my stint at exploring other sexual preferences, that time I accidentally set one of his scarves on fire."

"Oh god, I've never seen Kurt so mad," Rachel muttered, remembering the time all too well.

Blaine sighed heavily. "In the end, we just sat there. Staring at each other. And I didn't feel anything that I used to. I didn't feel the love or lust or romance or need to be a better man for him anymore. And I said that, and he agreed. He didn't know how we let it get this far any more than I do. I guess we both just didn't want to give up on the relationship, but I guess sometimes you just have to let some things go."

She scratched lightly at his hair line, nodding in response. "I really am sorry," she repeated. She didn't dare ask if their apparent make out session last night had been brought up, or even if he remembered it. He hummed in contention, pushing his head slightly into her hand.

"I just don't want to accidentally run into him now," Blaine said quietly.

"Well, you guys barely ran into each other unless you planned it as it was."

"Manhattan is a small island," Blaine countered.

"It's not that small," Rachel snorted. "And it's definitely crowded enough that I don't think you have anything to worry about."

He sighed once more. "New York wasn't even my plan or my dream. I just didn't want to deal with a long distance relationship."

"But you're here now," Rachel said. "You got into one of the most famous universities in the world, on a great scholarship for music, which you love."

"I know," he replied. "I know I'm still lucky enough to be here. I just feel like maybe New York is a little too-small for me. Like it's stifling and I'm becoming claustrophobic."


	7. Don't Look Back

"How did you even get into a college program!" Once again, Rachel had to reel in her anger, trying to put the emotion in the scene she was playing. It was nearing the end of October now, the fall turning cold and windy, and the time to drop her class long past.

"Bobby," she cried serenely, facing her acting partner as she recited the lines she had memorized-far more effort than the rest of her classmates, "Why would you go and do a thing like that? How could you leave me there?"

"Horrible! I've seen better acting from my cat!" Her professor yelled from the audience. She gritted her teeth, ignoring his insults and jeers. _He'll see one day when I'm famous and he's sitting in the back row of the theater_ , she thought in an attempt to calm herself.

"I wasn't going to stay there," her classmate-a blonde sophomore who had been chatting Rachel up the past couple weeks. "I couldn't be there while he was, while he was staring at you that way-"

"See? That's acting, his face has emotions in it!" Eric, her partner, grinned sheepishly-completely out of character. Rachel waited to see if he would get yelled at, but of course he didn't.

"You could have stood up for me, defended me!" Rachel despaired, and once again her professor was heckling her. She took a deep breath, ignoring him before continuing on with her lines. I will get through this class. I have no option but to get through this class. He is the only professor and I need this class. "You didn't have to stand there like an idiot, you could have tried to fight for me!"

"No emotional depth at all." Rachel felt herself snap, breaking her character and turning to glare at her professor in the audience, her anger from the past three months of being yelled at and insulted coming to the edge.

"You are a horrible person," she started, not even trying to make it look like she was talking to anyone else but him. "I am a great actress, and an even better singer. You're a bitter old man who didn't make it and wants to crush absolutely every dreamer out there, the ones who can make it-the ones who will make it-so that you can feel better about yourself. Instead of helping, and giving constructive criticism or even praise, you knock your students down more and more every day until their self-esteem is such shit that they drop out of your class, completely losing faith in themselves. Have you noticed how many have already stopped coming to your class? You know what though, I'm not going to let you ruin my dreams and my plans. I will figure out a way to get through this major and become a major star-without your help. You could be one of those people that always get thanked at award ceremonies, except you refuse to help so instead you'll be the one we tell horror stories about." She stopped her speech, unsure of where it even came from, the entire class staring at her with their mouths agape.

"Miss Berry-"

"I'll be leaving now, don't worry," she snapped, rushing to the chair where her bag was and hoisting it over her shoulder, storming out the door and into the quiet hallway, trying to breath. She had never made such a dramatic exit, her nerves were on edge as the full effect of what she had done hit her. She would have to figure out a way to complete her major, possibly even needing to change it now, because of one angry outburst. She realized that her entire future might have just changed because she couldn't take criticism, and her chest constricted, for a minute feeling unable to breathe.

-:-

Kurt pursed his lips together. "You still hang out with Blaine?" he asked as Rachel's phone went off on the table in-between them for their semi-weekly dinner date later that night. Rachel hesitated before nodding, hiding her phone in her bag.

"I mean, we go to school together-we have a class together," she shrugged. "I didn't think it would be that big of a deal, I don't take sides between what happened between the two of you. Besides, both of you said it just kind of came to a natural end-that it was no one's fault more than the other's."

"Yes, but I was your friend first. You wouldn't have even met Blaine if it hadn't been for me," Kurt scoffed, pushing around a piece of bread in the plate of olive oil between the two of them. "And you're still going to spend time with him?"

"Kurt, don't you think you might be being a little over-dramatic? I mean, I don't get upset that you still talk to Finn."

"He's my step brother. It's different." Kurt tried to defend.

"Barely," Rachel retorted. "I didn't think it would be a huge deal Kurt, and I'm sorry if it upsets you, but Blaine is my friend now. Independent of your relationship with him, Blaine and I have become close." Kurt snorted, rolling his eyes. "What?" she asked, putting her fork down and wiggling her foot anxiously. This day was just becoming one confrontation after another, and she felt like her emotions were becoming more and more confused and on edge as time went on.

"Well, of course you two have become close. Because you'll fall in love with any guy that gives you the time of day, and so will Blaine. And sometimes it seems like Blaine doesn't remember himself that he's gay." Rachel flushed, her temper flaring at the words.

"I do not fall in love with every guy-"

"Finn. Jesse. Puck. Blaine."

"I only loved Finn and Jesse. Puck was-well, he was someone I used more than anything else. And Blaine and I had one date and he said he was 100% gay and we both moved on from it. Besides, plenty of boys give me the time of day. I didn't throw myself at Mike Chang or Artie."

"Only because they didn't have half the talent that the rest do," Kurt countered.

"Listen, I'm not going to stop hanging out with Blaine. We're friends."

"Who make out?" Rachel bit her lip, wincing a bit. _So he does remember._

"It was an accident-"

"No, it wasn't. You don't accidentally make out with your friends. Or your friends boyfriends for that matter."

"We were both really drunk-"

"You were really drunk. He wasn't, and he told me. He said he felt like I was owed the whole truth. At least one of you decided that," Kurt snapped.

"I would have told you if you two didn't break up the next day!" Rachel yelled, defending herself. People at neighboring tables were starting to look at them now.

"Maybe you shouldn't have made out with him in the first place! Oh, but wait, Rachel can't seem to help herself. She always falls for boys who her friends already have an interest in."

"That's not fair," she hissed. "I didn't know you liked Finn before I fell for him. And I apologized for Blaine-"

"In high school," Kurt seethed.

"You know what Kurt? Maybe Blaine's right. College has changed all of us, and maybe you're just not changing in the same way as we are. I'll talk to you later," Rachel stated, standing up and grabbing her bag. "Call me when you decide to grow up, maybe let things go." And for the second time in one unnaturally long day, she stormed out the door.

-:-

"You stormed out of a class and a dinner. Rachel Berry, you are becoming more and more dramatic by the day, just when we didn't think it was possible." Blaine laughed, knocking shoulders with her as they walked around Washington Square Park.

"Well they made me so mad! I'm so sick of everyone just assuming everything about me," she seethed, ripping apart the pretzel Blaine had bought for her since she had skipped out on her meal.

"What are you going to do about your class?" he asked her a couple minutes later, letting her seethe quietly.

She sighed heavily, shrugging. "I have no idea. I might have to change my major, though I have no idea what I would change it to. I can always hope and pray that he quits sometime before I graduate, that someone else comes in to teach it."

"How likely is that possibility?"

"Slim to none," she moaned, latching her arm around his. "Blaine, when did life become this complicated?" she complained, leaning her head into his shoulder.

He let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. "I have no idea."

"God," she whined. "I just feel like I've thrown away my whole future."

"I feel like I need a vacation," Blaine said.

"I feel like I need a new life," she muttered. He frowned, looking down at her.

"Not a whole new life, because then you wouldn't have me, right?" he asked, and she smiled as she looked up at him.

"No, you can come with me to my new life." She agreed, and he grinned.

"Good. Because I can't imagine my life without my own personal Rachel Berry anymore."

"Who would have thought, two years ago when Kurt transferred to Dalton, that you and I would be the ones to stay friends?" she mused.

"Well, we're both incredibly talented and incredibly good looking, so it was only natural," he joked, bumping shoulders again. She laughed, starting to feel a little better.

"At least we have each other," she said, and he hummed in agreement. Her feelings for Blaine hadn't gone away since their kiss almost a month ago, in fact they only seemed to deepen. They never talked about it, or brought it up, and Rachel deleted the pictures (though, not the video) from her phone, but they still spent most of their time together, even more than they had before. Sally was constantly singing about it under her breath, ignoring Rachel's denial.

"I want to do something crazy," Blaine said a few minutes later.

"Not me, I've had enough crazy for the day."

"No, like-really crazy. Rachel," he said, stopping her in their tracks, reaching out to grab her shoulders and making her face him. "I want to do something that seems so mind-numbingly stupid but could potentially be the best idea of our lives."

"Like?" she prodded, and a grin spread across his face that she didn't trust at all.

"Like move to California. Right now."

Rachel had no response, she stood there with her mouth agape. "Move-what?" she shrilled, her voice about ten decibels higher than normal. "Blaine, that's crazy. That is seriously the most illogical step I have ever heard in my life."

"No, listen, I've been thinking about it for awhile-"

"You have?"

"Yes, I have. It'd be perfect for us. I know you love New York, but ever since we've come here, haven't you felt crowded and small instead of all the things you imagined?" Rachel didn't answer, biting her bottom lip with vigor as she listened to him. "I know that you want to be famous. And I know that you pictured yourself on Broadway, but can you still picture that? Can you still see yourself standing on a Broadway stage? Because I've been watching you Rachel. You've been changing in small ways that I don't even think you've noticed, and you're not the same Rachel you were when we left Lima. I know you want fame and stardom and all that, but it's not the kind that you can get here."

She looked him in the eyes, his stupidly gorgeous eyes, and knew what he was saying was true. She hadn't felt like Broadway was the direction for her anymore-not after three months of that horrible class. "We don't have the money to-"

"Yes, I do. I've told you, I have a trust fund that kicked in once I hit 18. We could go to LA, you could audition for stuff out there, start going to UCLA or something. You could become real famous, much quicker than it would ever happen if we stay here."

"Blaine, I don't know. It seems like an insane idea. What if it's a mistake? What if we go and it turns out, I should have stayed here, that my calling is New York but I'm just too confused right now to really know that?' she asked, the idea and his logic starting to work against hers.

"We won't know until we do it," he told her. "Plus, we're young. We're young and we deserve to be adventurous. And what's more adventurous than a cross-country road trip in the middle of Fall to completely change everything about your life?"

"I don't know," she repeated, looking at the ground as if it would give the answer to her. She had always wanted to do something completely out of her character, go a little crazy and unleash the Rachel she kept so well under control. But she had let that Rachel out twice today-yelling at a professor, yelling at Kurt, storming out both times. If there was ever a time she would go through with this crazy plan, it would be today.

"Look at me," Blaine whispered, his hands moving down her arms to hold her hands, taking them in his and gently rubbing the palms with his thumbs. "We could do this. We could do this and make it Rachel. We could have everything we've ever wanted, we just have to take a chance."

"I could do this?" she asked, and he nodded, a smile appearing on his face once more.

"You, of all people, can do this. You have enough determination and talent and strength to do this," he said, promising her with his words.

"I can do this," she nodded, swaying more and more to agreeing to his crazy idea. "When would we leave?' she asked hesitantly, and now his smile was giant again, it almost seemed to overpower his face as his eyes crinkled.

"Tonight. We'd go back to our dorms, pack essentials and just go. I have my car in a parking garage a few blocks away. I'd pick you up in say, an hour."

"This is crazy," she told him, but she was smiling now, the hint of adventure and disaster and freedom now stirring up feelings of wanderlust she didn't realize she had.

"Completely insane," he agreed.

"We're doing this, aren't we?" she asked, and he nodded.

"I don't see how we could not."

"Pick me up in an hour?" she asked, and he nodded, kissing her cheek.

"One hour, be outside waiting for me," he confirmed as he ran in the opposite direction. She watched him go for a second before remembering she only had an hour, turning quickly and heading to pack up her own dorm.


End file.
